i think this maybe my last post ever!! hahaha... *sad grin*
i feel so low rite now.. after getting scold or rebuke from him! i feel so low!! so down, so deadly depress!! i am like a filthy shit headed guy!!...
it feels like the whole world is against me.. just when i thought i can start picking myself up, ppl comes around with the comment and with diff view of things just smacked me on the head with a baseball bat and it feels like a stab in my fragile heart!! is it wrong to fall for girl?? can a guy make mistake?? can i fall for someone without being rich or successful?? am i not changing?? you think i can change over nite!! it takes time to change this 19 year old habit even with the prayer and God's help! I never been so shitty in my like...
what do you guys see in me that make me a friend to u?? what skills do i have?? what good attitude do i have?? what GOOD am i to you?? Did i do anything for you??
i am a failure, i am stupid son which fail my mother and my father, all the things i have done in my life disgrace them, i am a fool, i always let friends down, all the time try to be a person to be accept but in the end rejected, what have i done for GOD to ask him to bless me?? i havent reach out to even 1 soul, i havent been read the bible the rite way. i am lucky God didnt spit me out of his mouth!! i am neither cool nor hot for him!! i am a useless working, always beeing stupid is wat i do! never on time, never hard working, never useful.
a thought just came in as i blog about this, this world dont need me to be a better place. i mite just go kill myself with it!! i know it is wrong to have this thought but i just feel so low and shity... i dont deserve to live!! someone save me!! if not then spit at me on my face and life goes on!! i am useless!!
but i know all this is above is wrong... i am just depress for awhile.. i will still learn to pick myself up with the hand of GOD!! check this pictures which i learn from.
but by the rebuke i learn... so it shows i am a bit wise... proverb says the wise learn from rebuke!and now i need to learn to pick up the cross but there is no short cuts check the next wan out!!
2 comments:
You have everything because Jesus took it all on the cross for you and I. You're precious in God's eyes. The bible says you worth more than any gold and silver in this world =)
Everyone goes through this stage of life. This is when we are to be more sensitive towards God. Soak in His presence and enjoy His fellowship. I am learning that too. I am blessed in the sense I always have leaders to still rely on but soon I will have to lead people too. In a way or another, we have to learn and grow.
I'm not good in encouraging and cheering people up. But I hope it helped. Will pray for you!
May God be with you always =]
konz...
When you are buried
You are actually being planted
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